Friday, February 14, 2014

Living the junior life

Before I enter my freshman year, I have surveyed I mean more of asked my relatives if high school life is difficult. They all said that it was hard, but it was the BEST. I wasn’t pretty sure what they meant with that word “best” because when I had my freshman year it revolved around hardships and obstacles, (maybe) because we are still adjusting and we’re too young during those times. We were not yet ready to face so much heavy loads (home works, projects, and activities). But when I was in my sophomore year, all of these loads were gone and came into the point where we didn’t learn much especially in English Class. All we did was answer stuffs and do like this and that. There was no “Teacher-Student Relationship” existed (nothing at all because I wasn’t able to feel it). Now that I am living my junior life, surprisingly, I can say that though 3rd year life is hard, I learned so many things here and this is the part where I realize that the word “BEST” really exists in high school.

The best part of being a 3rd year high school is having English Class under Mam May. Not only because we learned so many things like grammars and vocabulary from her but in English Class we are a family. Mam May does not only teach us stuffs about English but she gives us advices, tells us stories (her stories) and also how life works. She is more than a teacher she is like our mom inside the classroom. During English class you will really feel the “Teacher-Student Relationship” more like “Mother-Daughter Relationship”

I had so much fun and had a lot of great memories to cherish during our English Class. The first one is our blog. The first time Ma’am May told us that we are going to have our blog as our Informal Theme I was so excited because through this I could really express the real me. Other memorable experiences were the Jazz Chant, Romeo and Juliet play, but the most memorable and unforgettable are the Conventional Speech Choir and the Letters. We had a lot of activities involving the whole class, which made it more challenging because it’s really hard to work as a team especially if you   contradict one’s idea. But through these activities of ours in English, 3-Nitrogen will not be so close with each other. We are like now a family; we all work as a team. It made our bond stronger.

            I never thought that I will be able to open up so many things to my parents; I only started opening everything to my parents this 3rd year high school because I was influenced by Ma’am May, all of her advices and stories it helped me a lot. I’m sure that I wasn’t the only one who was influenced by Ma’am May but maybe all of us! She is the teacher who really understands her students and you can see that teaching is really in her heart. I like our teacher so much especially when she tells us stories where we can all relate. I didn’t expect that in English Class, I will be learning so many things, not only grammars, vocabulary, pronunciations but I also learned things about life! I will never forget my 3rd year life because for me it is the BEST.

Friday, February 7, 2014

I'M SORRY

“An apology is the super glue of life. It can repair just about anything.”
How I wish I could just repair everything. I guess not everything can be fixed. Especially with that thing I did to you.

Dear Edward,
            To be honest with you, it took me a lot of courage to do this letter. I just want you to know how sorry I really am. I look at myself in the mirror and I see myself as a cruel, mean girl because I can’t take away the fact that I DID SOMETHING HORRIBLE REALLY HORRIBLE TO A PERSON. I’m pretty sure, VERY sure that you can’t forgive me for what I did and I understand and respect that. But please don’t close a door for a new friendship. I know that this letter won’t even be the key for you to forgive me that easily. Wounds heal slowly, it takes time. But it doesn’t matter if you don’t forgive me at least I was able to say SORRY TO YOU AND HOW MUCH I HATED MYSELF AFTER WHAT HAPPENED.  SORRY. SORRY. I REALLY AM. Sorry for degrading you, I HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO THAT. You can go slap me or punch me now because I know how much you hate(d) me after what I did to you. I am fine with that ‘cause I actually deserve an even worst punishment for the crime I did.

            I know that we already talked about this issue and we ended it. But I know that it is not that simple. I’M SORRY. I badly want to hug you right now and say how sorry I really am. I don’t know why I did not say sorry to you when we talked about that issue. Maybe I was afraid, too coward in that fact that you will sort of curse me forever? I know that you can’t trust me. (You will never trust me again). Thousands, millions, billions of Sorry won’t even turn back time and it’s still not enough. YES. I WAS WRONG. I WAS STUPID, YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTHING, IN THE END WHAT I DID WAS WRONG THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT. IT WAS UNFORGIVABLE.

            I’m not asking for your forgiveness. It’s fine. I just badly want to tell you how SORRY I really am. I hope through this letter (maybe) at least I was able to tell you how sorry I really am. I AM SORRY JOHN EDWARD CAYAS. I don’t care if other people can read this, or talk about this. It doesn’t matter for me. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I DID.  SORRY SORRY SORRY

            I hope after you read this, there will be no awkward moments. I also want to thank you because you never punched me or attacked me (sort of thing) when you knew about the thing I did to you. THANK YOU AND SORRY EDWARD. I don’t care if apologizing is a sign of weakness, because you totally deserve my APOLOGY. I’M SORRY EDWARD. Also to Andrew, I’m really sorry too. Sorry guys.

(I also hope that you can see how much I am trying to change and do the right things. I hope that we can still be friends) 

                                                                                                            Sincerely yours,
                                                                                                                    Ira xx